life with you

it’s in the everydayness. the messy morning bed, the smells and sounds of coffee making, the creaks in the floorboards and doors. the sleepy goodmornings, the kisses goodbye, the waiting and waiting and waiting for days end when we walk back into our together everydayness again.

and then there are these special days, summery and seemingly unending. filled with swims in the ocean and walks in the sand, reading our new favourite books, soaking in the sun. watching the sunset on beautiful days. never leaving your side. and drinking wine and eating until we have the fullest bellies and laughing and loving with the fullest hearts.

i’m so happy you’re mine. on the special and the everyday kinda days.

a stone’s throw

from so far, it feels so near
and the memories aren’t drifting away like i expected them to
[yet desperately hoped they wouldn’t]
[well, i’m glad they aren’t].
it feels like the most pleasant dream, like a time and place that existed only in my mind, or only for us, and our tiny universe.
where all the stars fly across our beautifully dark and glittering sky.
where all the stars live in the reflection of your bright blue eyes.
where all the stars make up the all of us and everything we became in the tiniest pinprick of our lighted days. in mornings so lazy and nights that seemed like forever, but were so final and fleeting. in pinches of realness stunning our senses.
time made it real, time made it pass. time put us here, as it does, above all else that lives in the creases of the lives we folded so neatly together, an origami love story, a paper plane gliding through that starry sky of our wildest imaginations
and so we soar
to the beat of our hearts,
that keep their rhythm
eight thousand
three hundred
and twenty

skimming rocks

our lives are made of ripples.
someone drops a stone.
we watch the lines expand,
burn and flow,
until the edges
meet the shore
and back it goes
once more.

our lives are made of ripples.
the stories become longer
the details smear and smudge
but the feeling
[the effect]
stains the very edges
of the hearts
we try our
to protect.

our lives are made of ripples.
they move as far as the lake of our love allows
they change
when they ebb
against logs
and rocks
and lily pads
or when ducks go paddling by
or when dark clouds drop raindrops from this great humungous sky
and there reflected in us,
[the thing we never see]
we miss it, we wish.
and i wonder
maybe if i was in the sky
and instead the lake was looking
at me.

you remember it, that day
and those ripples that you made?
as the moon rose
and looked so long,
stretched, then not
and bobbing upon a mercury lagoon.
it was all so full of you
your wish to see it there
upon the glassy, rippling water
your wish to feel it there
and share
your very favourite thing
with me.

all kinds of clouds

messy bed
white sheets
[paisley red]
along the lines of all the flowers is a love story
in 24 hours.

the moon
has changed
since me and you…
everything’s changed
since me

more than that

and for a second the cars stopped driving and the man stopped sweeping and the rain stopped falling and i stopped tap tap tapping on my keyboard writing frantically about you.

[yes, you].

and in that second, the stillness took me over as i daydreamed of something so far from right here and now. as i awoke back to reality, back to cars and sweeping and rain and typing and thinking about you [and if] and when the hell i should be saying that bittersweet goodbye to this life
to these days of everything
to what it’s so clearly beginning to mean.

it appears that all i’m really trying to do is stop time.



[photo: greenlake. seattle, washington]

i don’t know where it came from, but i stumble gracefully over it with fear, with excitement, with a truth and ease to settle me.
i don’t know why it’s now,
but i know it’s happening
with or without me knowing why.
so maybe that’s a reason to give in to the reality of the feelings spreading over and through my skin [and where you’ve been caught so comfortably underneath it all].

my mind is flushed with rose
as i watch the leaves fall for fall,
in a colour not too different.

we smile through glances that last not a second too long.
we sip coffee and talk like it’s been more than a little while coming.
and the weather makes for a never-ending day cool enough to cool what’s burning in questions and answers all the same.


curve your spirit to mine and find the straight and wayward lines to travel by. cross your heart [don’t hope to die].
be still
be light
let’s take our time.

under it all

i peel through layers of flesh of blood to the very last cell of my very hopeful being.
i run my fingers along your skin and think i’d like to try it on you, too.

escape with me
let’s run free along coastlines made of wildflowers.
through mountains scattered in snow.
in sunshine or sun showers on sundays,
through rainbows.
you’ll be my pot of gold. and i promise, i’ll hold tight to the greatest treasure i’ll ever have, so gently and so safe.

feel my heartbeat when your eyes meet mine. feel me dissolve in you and become so intertwined
there’s no detangling this beautiful mess.
so we’ll revel in the rest
waiting to be tied in double knots
a million times over again.

you’ll become my everything.
my reason.
my breath.
my saving grace.
i’ll pull you apart, and fill your cracks with me. your love. my love.

no heavens no dreams no imagination. i’ll find you, all flesh and blood. you’ll make me see, you’ll make it feel like make-believe, you’ll make me want this us, this we. as we fall so madly, irrevocably, so hungrily in love.

stop start

i wonder when that song will stop reminding me of you. i wonder when the words will do nothing to my heart, when it will be just another song and i’ll sing along like it never made me feel like this. i wonder if the day will come when floods of memories and what-ifs and all these wonderings stop wandering through my imagination as soon as i hear it play.

and i wonder
if you 
ever wonder
it too.


i want the fairytale. i want the consistency of emotion, the growing and brewing of something as it strengthens and changes and pumps the blood through the veins of what holds me together. 

say stay. say go. it’s not too hard. it’s life and it’s love and it’s crazy. but it’s real and should be nurtured and fostered.

not broken for scraps. 

[we stood against the world and the chances drowned your hopefulness.] 

[i thought i knew better.]

i want the fairytale. i want the idealism. the emotion. i want the pain, the heartache, the tears and the breaking and repairing the tearing. so che sarà, sarà – it’s not yet midnight in the dance of my heart. there is so much moonlight left for my once upon a time.