loosening

it’s windy tonight.

i like the wind. i like the way it rustles my life, the way it scatters the papers of the plans i’m meant to have. they float around my soul, so perfectly weightless. so indelible in their uselessness.

so then let it all come undone.

little bits of life: a story of sunday.

i was walking with mum yesterday. it was a beautiful day. it felt like spring. we wandered down paths we’d never wandered down before, towards the hill covered in trees.

stop, she said, listen.

i did.

listen to the wind.

i heard it. whipping through the trees, whistling through small passages, whooshing through the sky.

green leaves on trees flipping over one another, a rubbery rustling.

this year is going so fast. creeping away from me, right before my eyes it’s vanishing. sometimes i wish i could just stop time, freeze moments and pull myself together a little bit more. i’m feeling out of control. but i know that’s how it is. i can’t do anything to change it. it’s how it should be, how it will be, how it knows how to be.

but every now and then i’ll stop and listen to the clouds crawling around the horizon and the blue skies that stay open above me. they all make a sound, if you let them.