i’ve been dreaming of far-away places. of travelling and exploring countries anew. i’ve been dreaming of adventure, of cities stuck in my subconscious just waiting to arrive at my real life.
my mind is taking me to dreamstates i forgot even existed. and with so much talk of meant-to-be and mother earth with her whispers of wind and sea and silence all at once, it’s hard to ignore.
just then. just then, i looked up to see a rainbow in the sky.
you can’t tell me she’s not helping to direct my course. you can’t tell me she’s not listening to all my wills and wants. so, wherever is next is where i’ll be. travelling the hypnotic motion of everything as it should be.
together, speeding by, they look like rolling parallel waves then, one by one, they open up into corridors of yellow and green. old, bare-branches twisted wildly in the wintry sun.
spending our days this week in a cabin on san juan island, among the hummingbirds, bees and trees, taking only outdoor showers in the woods, spending starry evenings in a hot tub, grilling dinners on the beach or cooking shepherd’s pie with all the cabin doors and windows wide open, drinking red wine and watching a very golden moon rise next to mt baker across the water later and later each night.
i live two lives.
they are winding rivers flowing parallel.
they are ravines shifting and creaking side-by-side.
they are the branches and the roots of his favourite madrona tree, with its burnt orange bark and evergreen leaves.
they are the moon and the sun. they are darkness and light
[and lightness and love].
forever moving forward i still get lost in this world.
then lost in his.
we’re lost in our love.
we become those days where the moon stays high in the sun-drenched sky. we become those evenings that remain so bright with dusk. my river follows his direction; his ravine keeps mine safe; his roots feed my branches and we both grow and move and change. time licks at our hearts and brings us ever closer to each other.
we are the link, the reason, the intertwining force. and our hearts provide the space where our duality intersects. where our two lives become the perfect, placid grace of one. where we wish on one another, know the magic as we feel it. surrender and deliver and discover and become.
we live two lives, but we live them as one.
because that’s what we are.
nature, movement, reflection.
only ever following the way my heart leads.
i see it so clearly, a new set of markers, milestones and stepping stones. i see it so purposefully, the reason, and achievements, and a heart so full of love. i feel it in all its power, taking me over and swallowing me whole. a life of beauty, along this path, this way, this choice, this resolution, to only ever follow the way my heart leads.
my pulse races with the thickness of these moments caught in time. it’s all too much. and everyday i think i might both burst and dissolve from the fright of feeling so much, from the heat of loving so hard and fast.
this is my wildest adventure yet, the one that’s come to life the best.
in all the time spent wandering this earth we’ve always shared, i’ve never known a greater journey
than this, travelling the veins of your love.
it’s all i want,
to be your breath,
to be the beating of your heart,
to find more of me in you
than i ever knew
there ever was.
life in all its magic and wonder
you in all of you,
just as you are.