everywhere and here

i was overcome by the feeling of gratitude and dissolving into being here. he’s here. with me. with this love so deep.

i wasn’t ready for it to hit me like it did. to all at once remember and feel so lucky to know this is how it all worked out. the most perfect life of moments all leading to that night we met. on the other side of the world. where i was never planning to be. and neither was he.

and how could it be that we could make it there together to that place in a space so open and ready for this love that was delivered to us, or we sought out, or stumbled upon and so willingly found. in the blink of an eye it was us. in the beat of a heart we fell in love.

unlikely places

what about when you’re dirty and angry and hard? what about when you close yourself to beauty and sunlight? what about all those times you lie in bed alone with covers over your head screaming so silently just wishing someone would hear those painful whispers, just imagining the day when you’d wake and forget this life and forget this time and forget how it felt to have a heart that was in so many pieces you would never know how to start putting it back together.

and then, breath by breath, one by one, the shards and particles and porcelain chips would start to find their way back into the shape it once was. except for missing bits and pieces, here and there. and in those shallow hollows, memories would come flooding in, like plaster, to fill the holes and make it whole with stories you’ll try the rest of your life to keep so close, to hide.

but remember, these are the things that make you. that are you. these are the things that lead you to the moment or the person and the life that colours it all in glitter gold, and just like that, with all the powdery notion of you, this stardust being, you’ll be born again, forever again, and you’ll start living like none of it mattered, but you’ll realise it all always did and will, and this, this is what you can be grateful for.

flawed.
once broken.
in repair.
scared and living the most on-the-wire life you could have ever imagined.

because the fear feels so real when you’re alone inside yourself.

but this is you. be thankful. stay and watch it all unfurl in beautiful moments of imperfection, bad timing and mistakes made of mayhem. it’s all as it should be.

be scared.
then be brave.

you have a heart made of the pieces of all your time past, and now it’s twice as strong.