what i’d give

but don’t ask me now. i don’t have the answers.

i don’t know why it seems that the stars shine brighter or the sun dances with twinkling grace on my skin.

i don’t know why it changes what i do and how i think.

i don’t know much about what you want to know, but i do know about me.

so go ahead.

i

i wriggle my toes into the sand. into the earth. into this island.

i stare at the ocean. the waves. their energy, continuity, fluidity. this magical place, bringing me home. talking me into living. speaking to my heart.

i hear all its wonderful sounds – the curl of the waves into wet sand, the silence that follows. the flittering leaves of the palm trees nearby, the wind against my ear as i turn my head so slightly.

i scratch at day-old mosquito bites.

i watch a surfer emerge safely onto shore, make the sign of the cross and look to the sky.

i take a photo for a couple, two beautiful men from england. they thank me for what appears to be the most generous offer they’ve ever received. no worries, i say, surprised at their graciousness.

i watch it all float by.

20140104-205112.jpg

my dad. and my second home.

i’ve started saying goodbye – there are so many lasts.

talk about bittersweet.

what a beautiful time of my life.