i was overcome by the feeling of gratitude and dissolving into being here. he’s here. with me. with this love so deep.
i wasn’t ready for it to hit me like it did. to all at once remember and feel so lucky to know this is how it all worked out. the most perfect life of moments all leading to that night we met. on the other side of the world. where i was never planning to be. and neither was he.
and how could it be that we could make it there together to that place in a space so open and ready for this love that was delivered to us, or we sought out, or stumbled upon and so willingly found. in the blink of an eye it was us. in the beat of a heart we fell in love.
i get to love you. no matter what. that’s my greatest adventure – loving you with all my heart. oh and how achingly beautiful it is, how deeply you love me back.
we’re reaching milestones. days together, years, now. days not spent apart. nights, too. and nearly 365 since we bound our hearts and lives officially [though it’s been so much longer in love].
and all the days ahead and all of them past aren’t even enough to hold and show the love i have to give to you. there just aren’t enough hours left in my life to let me love you in the deepest, warmest, loveliest ways i want.
and that’s all i’ll ever want to do. [forever just has to be long enough.]
our everlasting love lives across all the lifetimes we’ll spend loving and searching and loving again.
You and blue midweek moments, the chilly sea, a cup of chamomile tea, to settle the soul.
together, speeding by, they look like rolling parallel waves then, one by one, they open up into corridors of yellow and green. old, bare-branches twisted wildly in the wintry sun.
in just one day, i fell in love with all you are, with all the things i saw and knew i wanted [i needed]. i fell in love with the way you made me feel, the way you looked at me, the way we kissed and made love. i fell in love with our words, our conversation, our laughter. your stories, your gentleness, the way you chose to live your life. i fell in love with the moment and with us in the moment. with what we were and what we were fast becoming, and knowing all we would so surely be.
and now we’re here, we became this glorious dream, an unfolding of all our intuition and feeling. and we have all our days to continue falling deeper into this love we’re growing and sharing, exploring, still discovering, together.
and all the days of our lives would never be enough to travel the depths our love extends. but it’s here and we’re here, we’re caught in the delicious middle of it, this most beautiful kind of love.
what an adventure this whole *time thing is.
and so it floats by.
and all is right,
with you by my side.
spending our days this week in a cabin on san juan island, among the hummingbirds, bees and trees, taking only outdoor showers in the woods, spending starry evenings in a hot tub, grilling dinners on the beach or cooking shepherd’s pie with all the cabin doors and windows wide open, drinking red wine and watching a very golden moon rise next to mt baker across the water later and later each night.
his skin was aglow with the fading warming sun,
even his eyes looked piercingly alight.
he stared out, i told him to wait, he stopped for me [reluctantly].
he was swallowing sunbeams and shining them right back at the sky. he didn’t even know how wonderful he was in that moment, as i fell evermore in love. he didn’t even know that i could feel all of him from where i stood, not so far away.
[i feel it all over again when i look at the flush in his cheeks in the picture i took.]
somehow it came out in the day we shared – a sunday best spent – as the sun set and the moon rose, and we soaked in salty air
the moving tide moved us closer.
the conversation turned to starlight as the moon rose over the hill we sat upon. cloudless and windless, our minds were aflutter. red wine stained our thoughts and words and we laughed and laughed and laughed.
at the end of it all, i couldn’t believe how much i loved him.
you’re just too far away.
the distance leaves salty stains across my heart.
and the closer it comes,
the further it feels.
it should only be happiness, with all that awaits us.
but i miss you more deeply than i ever have before.