a poem for the moon and you

[photo via nasa]

i think of you, watching that blood red moon, holding in it all the sunrises and sunsets of all this world in one.
i stare at my moon tonight and imagine,
for a moment,
you are staring too, and just like that i catch your thoughts with mine.
my darling
my love
i miss you. the days are just so different from so far away. i’m scared the smell of you and our summer will fade the more i wash my hands my skin my clothes. so i avoid all the feeling that comes from all the knowing of that space between,
you see, i need you.
i need you in a way that makes my heart ache and ache.
i do know
all the world that lives in me,
in that moon
it lives in you too.
it breathes your breath into my lungs, i taste your sweetest thoughts, i feel your blood run through my heart.
it beats in a rhythm that could never tell us apart.
it beats in a rhythm of love and love and love.


[photo: west beach, south australia]

i needed to swim in the ocean today. i needed to saturate my bones with the searing saltiness of this southern sea. on the edge of the country, i stood, as the waves tickled and buried my feet in the sand. for a moment, i gave into the sinking and the sticking before i wriggled my toes from the heaviness.

the water was unusually warm. i dragged my legs through the shallows, wade by wade by wade and dove into the surf, as the smallest of swells churned the water so constant, so refreshing so fucking crystal clear. under two feet of ocean, i spun to face the sky and opened my eyes to look up through that searing saltiness at the scorching, summer sun – a bright, white light that shifted upon the glassiness as the ocean moved in its own deep breaths on my behalf.

my eyes were burning long before the salt and the sun in the sea today. but, today’s pain brought relief from the home it has so recently been threatening.
and so,
my heart,
in peace,
it floated and it rested.

and i kept telling myself to give in, to feel how it feels, to let it cleanse me. let it renew me. let it be the therapy i was in so very desperate need of. with no words and no poetry and no writing and no talking and no thinking. let it be no feeling. let it be no afternoon nightmare. just let it be.

it seems i always forget
how much i need the sea.

bring me home, be my guide, walk with me into the rest of my life.

twinkle twinkle

you know pearl, you can’t touch the stars, they’re very, very far away.

well aaunty,
when i get bigga,
i can touch the staaars.

i can gwrab dem all.

she said. nodding her head in unwavering assuredness.

i’ve been looking, i’ve been wandering. i’ve been intertwining my life with as many similar soul searchers as fate allows.
she’s two and a half and she has all the answers.
the innocence. the possibility. an uninhibited, simple fire for an uninhibited, simple life. for joy. for amplifying happiness with books and songs, balloons, music and dancing. with stories from memories, from her imagination. feeding goldfish, blowing bubbles. singing and laughing and loving.

she’s a good kid. the best kid i know.

she will touch the stars, big or small, they twinkle and shine for her.