the ocean on a hillside

together, speeding by, they look like rolling parallel waves then, one by one, they open up into corridors of yellow and green. old, bare-branches twisted wildly in the wintry sun.

reasons

in just one day, i fell in love with all you are, with all the things i saw and knew i wanted [i needed]. i fell in love with the way you made me feel, the way you looked at me, the way we kissed and made love. i fell in love with our words, our conversation, our laughter. your stories, your gentleness, the way you chose to live your life. i fell in love with the moment and with us in the moment. with what we were and what we were fast becoming, and knowing all we would so surely be.

and now we’re here, we became this glorious dream, an unfolding of all our intuition and feeling. and we have all our days to continue falling deeper into this love we’re growing and sharing, exploring, still discovering, together.

and all the days of our lives would never be enough to travel the depths our love extends. but it’s here and we’re here, we’re caught in the delicious middle of it, this most beautiful kind of love.

ticking 

outside, reflection.

what an adventure this whole *time thing is. 

and so it floats by.

the light. he is my light.

his skin was aglow with the fading warming sun,
even his eyes looked piercingly alight.
he stared out, i told him to wait, he stopped for me [reluctantly].
he was swallowing sunbeams and shining them right back at the sky. he didn’t even know how wonderful he was in that moment, as i fell evermore in love. he didn’t even know that i could feel all of him from where i stood, not so far away.

[i feel it all over again when i look at the flush in his cheeks in the picture i took.]

somehow it came out in the day we shared – a sunday best spent – as the sun set and the moon rose, and we soaked in salty air
the moving tide moved us closer.

the conversation turned to starlight as the moon rose over the hill we sat upon. cloudless and windless, our minds were aflutter. red wine stained our thoughts and words and we laughed and laughed and laughed.

at the end of it all, i couldn’t believe how much i loved him.
still, more.
every second,
more.

when soon comes

 it’s not just me missing you
it’s that you’re just so very missing
from all the mundane, ordinary, easy things. from all the hard and heartbreaking and overwhelming moments. from the fun. from the normalcy, from the new and old
from everything else.

there’s too much absence and space and time between us.

i miss you ’cause you’re missing when i’d much rather we were loving and touching and kissing instead.

i miss you, in every way there is.

and all the absence and space, the time the waiting can be replaced for all i care, with everything you, with everything us.

i’m holding out for so soon – so soon isn’t nearly soon enough.

lost without you 

  
nights are the hardest. they pull me apart. i turn into just pieces of me. they don’t quite fit back together without you. 

i feel you from here. i feel you in my thoughts and dreams. i feel you in the quiet and the steady and the gentleness of my loneliness. 

and then i feel you fast and strong, in the whirlwind of my days and the noisy, rustling wind that stirs outside my window and the ticking in the ceiling that has no cause or source. i know you think and dream and feel me too. but life is just so much sweeter when i’m with you. 

so come back to me and bring my heart, bring yours too. come back to me darling, come home soon. no more airport goodbyes, no more last nights or mornings or meals or drives. just this next time to last us forever. yeah, that’d be just fine. 

i dare you

nature, movement, reflection. 

only ever following the way my heart leads.

i see it so clearly, a new set of markers, milestones and stepping stones. i see it so purposefully, the reason, and achievements, and a heart so full of love. i feel it in all its power, taking me over and swallowing me whole. a life of beauty, along this path, this way, this choice, this resolution, to only ever follow the way my heart leads.