call it what you want

battle lines are blurred between the now and then. and thinking doesn’t change the fact we’re running end to end,
and without one in clear sight.

we’re tethered to the past and all the feelings stuck between words and breath.

we’re chasing after days perfectly ruined by sunset
so far from our desperate reach.

and each night we sit in darkness and wade through dawning thoughts. and each day wake with dread
as morning sheds crisp light upon crumpled sheets
upon storied bed.

wonderland

i miss you. like an unending story of heartbreak, pain and soul-wrenching, gut-churning, complete, wretched, unfortunate loss.

wipe tiny tears from the edges of my heart.

you sit so quietly, always, in the back of my imagination.

love you dad.

she lost her father. two nights ago, he passed away in his sleep. he was sick, but still, a shock. she didn’t get to say goodbye.

in his leaving, four children stayed behind. the youngest, 12. a boy growing up without a dad. without that one person to teach him and mould him into someone to be proud of. a man.

another friend grew up without her dad. he died in a car accident. lost too soon.

she and i once took a trip to the beach, on his anniversary, at night, to sit on the sand and watch the stars. they scattered his ashes in the ocean. he became part of the sand, no matter where she was, the beach kept him with her.

these friends of mine, going through life without that figure of strength and guidance.