you’re just too far away.
the distance leaves salty stains across my heart.
and the closer it comes,
the further it feels.
it should only be happiness, with all that awaits us.
but i miss you more deeply than i ever have before.
the nights are hardest.
they beat me down in the sweetest dreaming, your face our stories our unreal life played out in my sleep. they haunt me with waking in deep breaths and gasps, slowly coming to. if only it were really you.
the days are hard too, though. the silent murderess, thinking sunlight will blind me from my loneliness, thinking work and busyness will keep my mind at rest.
morning and noon and night you’re on my mind you’re on my heart your burning through my soul, on fire. and the heat takes me [forever] over, and our memories devour me whole.
i keep waiting, i’d wait forever, the stars watching on in blinking steadiness. they wait too.
we all wait together.
we wait for you.
until we’re dreaming side by side or daydreaming in the sunlight. and into day and into night and on and on and on we go, floating into our very near, very pretty, very together kinda forever.
i feel you from here. i feel you in my thoughts and dreams. i feel you in the quiet and the steady and the gentleness of my loneliness.
and then i feel you fast and strong, in the whirlwind of my days and the noisy, rustling wind that stirs outside my window and the ticking in the ceiling that has no cause or source. i know you think and dream and feel me too. but life is just so much sweeter when i’m with you.
so come back to me and bring my heart, bring yours too. come back to me darling, come home soon. no more airport goodbyes, no more last nights or mornings or meals or drives. just this next time to last us forever. yeah, that’d be just fine.
i feel my heart beat hard as it vibrates against my skin, stomach, throat and chest
echoing through my rib cage.
i swallow shallow breaths.
there’s no sleep in sight for me tonight as i start to count the minutes and seconds
until the moment we’re right there
where nothing else matters
where we start to melt away
into life and gold, sunlight and salt water.
where we’re you and me together again no distance no time zones no end.
this is my wildest adventure yet, the one that’s come to life the best.
in all the time spent wandering this earth we’ve always shared, i’ve never known a greater journey
than this, travelling the veins of your love.
it’s all i want,
to be your breath,
to be the beating of your heart,
to find more of me in you
than i ever knew
there ever was.
life in all its magic and wonder
you in all of you,
just as you are.