he woke me in the middle of the night with kisses and gentleness, i know you’re really tired but you need to see the moon tonight. it might be the most beautiful i’ve ever seen.
he dressed sleepy me in a sweater and comfy pants, took my hand and led me out into the cool summer midnight. i yawned my way across the tree covered lawn and pebbled driveway to the clearing at the path that took us to the beach.
we stood atop the hill in what seemed like daylight, our shadows clear against the ground. the moon was big and bright and shone its light like iridescence across the waves, the only noise that night.
the ocean looked like mercury [the moonlight shimmering] it moving so fluidly across itself.
we stayed, he held me and my sunburn shivers stilled, i felt his heart at my side as it beat into me and woke me to the innate love we share. this is why we breathe. and maybe this is why the moon rose that night.
and only love.
i’m reading women who run with the wolves. it’s evoking a need to do a whole lot of looking inward. discovering who i am while travelling the curves of this lifetime of feeling and seeing and doing. the learning never stops. the love and soul-work never stops. every breath unravels new answers. it’s self-discovery it’s choosing to know. every minute we can make space for more awareness, joy, heart and soul. life is so precious.
i’ve been dreaming of far-away places. of travelling and exploring countries anew. i’ve been dreaming of adventure, of cities stuck in my subconscious just waiting to arrive at my real life.
my mind is taking me to dreamstates i forgot even existed. and with so much talk of meant-to-be and mother earth with her whispers of wind and sea and silence all at once, it’s hard to ignore.
just then. just then, i looked up to see a rainbow in the sky.
you can’t tell me she’s not helping to direct my course. you can’t tell me she’s not listening to all my wills and wants. so, wherever is next is where i’ll be. travelling the hypnotic motion of everything as it should be.
clouds above me
sea below me
i catch my breath on the ebbing of the tide.
love within me
earth surrounds me
the magic of this life settles deep within.
i don’t hear a thing but the beating of my heart,
racing to slow.
i float a while, my mind clears. [it’s never quite a while enough. so i hold these beautiful moments so near.]
the ocean hears my soul. the ocean heals my soul.
i get to love you. no matter what. that’s my greatest adventure – loving you with all my heart. oh and how achingly beautiful it is, how deeply you love me back.
we’re reaching milestones. days together, years, now. days not spent apart. nights, too. and nearly 365 since we bound our hearts and lives officially [though it’s been so much longer in love].
and all the days ahead and all of them past aren’t even enough to hold and show the love i have to give to you. there just aren’t enough hours left in my life to let me love you in the deepest, warmest, loveliest ways i want.
and that’s all i’ll ever want to do. [forever just has to be long enough.]
our everlasting love lives across all the lifetimes we’ll spend loving and searching and loving again.
what am i even waiting for? divinity? desperation? time? what’s the use in having this fire burning so wildly through my heart if i don’t feel it and feed it?
the air flows through easy breath through unknowing lungs. it’s all right there.
what’s the use in feeling all the beauty in being so close to something unlike me or you and this world we’re told to know.
it’s magic, i get it. and it’s swimming in my bloodstream ready to be poured in ink and words stories and prose.
slowly but surely
and fast burning
feeding the fire, walking into the light.
this is mine.
a new month.
i’ve been so long, here with you,
not nearly long enough.
and i think about the time we spent
where it all went
what we did and how we stayed so still
in the quiet moments.
the moments our hearts spoke only what we meant.
we couldn’t buy this kind of love. we couldn’t even dream it. yet here we are, bathing in river mist and mountain peaks and rainforests shrouding us in the greenest most deliberate decorated mossiness.
you put your toes in any water and feel the cold or surprising warmth. and it makes me smile when you jump in
seeing you come out all wet
pricking water droplets
sending them rolling off your skin.
is it the rain or the river?
it doesn’t seem to change, no matter how much i push or pull time just scurries right away from all this is. no matter how much we want it to stop still and rest for a bit. no matter how much it suffocates and liberates and drowns and frees all the outrageous realities we’re slowly, beautifully sinking in between.
we bury our toes and open our hearts and let it all unfold in a beautiful picture of all that has passed
of all that’s yet to come.
life happens so fast.