i played today. played. i don’t know the last time i did that, not like this: leapfrogging and cartwheeling and somersaulting, on a patch of grass in the city. losing my breath from laughing so hard. falling to the ground and clapping my hands in sudden moments of hysteria – elation in its purest form.
the swing sets and seesaws and skipping ropes might have become part of the past. a memory of the fun. but today, it all came back to me. innocent. untainted.
the big rocking horse. gumeracha, south austraila.
it’s got me bad. but gee it feels nice…
like when we were kids.
me: i loved barbies.
tiana: i hated them.
me: what? you never played with barbies?
tiana: yeah, i did.
tiana: i used to put them under the car tyres and watch their heads shoot off.
there’s a boy i know. we’ve only recently become quite acquainted. he’s a funny guy. makes me laugh, right from the inside out. i can’t say there are many people who do that to me. not like that.
i used to laugh all the time, at school. deep, hearty laughs. when i was younger, i would laugh so hard i would give myself the hiccups. it still happens now, sometimes. it’s a nice feeling.
so this boy reminds me of being young. at school. laughing and giggling, about stupid things that mean absolutely nothing, or so much more than we knew. i think i wish i was a kid again. i like being a grown up, but i miss being free. free of all responsibility, over thinking things, drama. life was simpler then. but, it’s so much more exciting now.
i hope i keep laughing forever.