the fog rolled over the hills last tuesday morning. it fell into the troughs and climbed up the peaks with perfect grace and that steadiness and elegance that nature seems to show off. it made turning around sweet – forgetting something and needing to go home for it – the smallest thing making my forgetfulness worth it.
fate is undeniable. the older i get, the more i feel it. in the same strangers i see weeks in a row; meant-to-be; running from rain just in time; the perfect song on the radio.
those moments that still the soul.
there’s nowhere else i’m meant to be. no feeling i should be feeling instead. no life being left behind. i’m walking the path, carving it and choosing it and feeling my way through.
rolling fog and cloudy horizons. the journey is leading to that one moment where my life will make the most sense it’s ever made. i feel it happening. it’s anticipation trapped in a jar.
i woke up from that dream last night. it’s becoming more real than ever.
there is a certain sense of direction i’ve now gained from what is happening. a knowingness. a clarity. it’s all new. it’s all exciting.
this direction and knowingness and clarity is pushing me toward a future i never prepared for, never planned for. one i thought would just happen. and now the universe is taking its time to open its graces to me and let me be someone. make myself. create a life to live and forget about that time i spent biding.
i’m slowly finding my way out of limbo. slowly patching up the holes of any plan i tried to make. slowly finding my feet.
in this world of uncertainty, it’s not an arrow i’m looking for. not a map or a sign or anything to lead me to anywhere in particular. it’s just a backpack full of whatever i need to make my way to wherever i choose. wherever i end up. knowing i was meant to be there and all this time spent caught between was just destiny in disguise.
there is too much beauty in the world. too many things to see in a lifetime. too many things to experience and feel and wonder about for hours and days and weeks at a time…
before you know it, it’s crept up on you.
it’s been years and you’re totally consumed in something that could very well have been just a nod in passing. but somehow, without you realising, became so much more.
and then you look back. and it becomes clear.
it was meant to happen all along.
so you smile and laugh, a giddy, hearty, delirious laugh. and you thank yourself for allowing life to happen. for going with the flow. feeling the ground under your feet. the sting of winter’s first breeze. the childish joy of getting caught in a sun shower.
the wondrous magnificence of meant to be.