dreamless nights, the deepest sleeps, stillness and you, on my mind.
insides, one step away from melting into the oblivious chasm of undeclared infatuation. of staring and laughing and finding fate.
your hand and my hand, find me in the hollows. lose me to your senses. love me in it all, despite it all, and for it all.
my dreams are as clear as day. they shine as bright as the stars.
neither can compare.
not to tomorrow. not to everything it brings, what it means, how i’ll live. and who i’ll be.
my field of dreams waits for me. overgrown with wild sunflowers up to my eyes. grasses that scratch and tickle. shadows that fall and play.
i’ll run through the thick in the earliest morning, when the sky is pink and the air feels heavy with questions and answers and everything i’ve ever wanted.
life is so sweet.
i found a note i wrote. a single, narrow page, scrawled with black ink and the love of a heart bleeding with hope. the year before last i wrote it. folded it. slid it into a pocket, behind scrawled pages, behind times and places, in the very back of my diary.
the note smells like leather and youth.
the note, unfound, until now.
it’s a note. written with naivety, behind that rose-coloured glass that makes everything so glorious, behind the romanticism of a single unhinged moment. without fear or worry or confusion.
i found a note.
everyday is sunday for me now. everyday is doing what i love. i wonder why it took so long to figure out that this is how i should be living. this is me saying yes to my heart.
they say, ‘follow your dreams, this year will be the best, make the most of 2014, start doing what you love.’
and i say, ‘okay.’
i’ve never wanted anything more. so here i go, roaring into the wild.
and it flew into the air once more. an indelible, idle feeling, where those others never rest. no rust, in the isle reeling with it all, in the garden of my life. no fair minded foreverness. just a future made of gold and a life of living free.
it appears to me that destiny rules.
i do my best to shift it aside, dull it from my memory bank. push it to the darkest corner of my mind. but it comes rattling through and shakes me up, this fear. it’s eating me, so silently, alive.
it’s the remembering that scares me most. but, this won’t be like that. see, this fear brings courage, elation, change! yes, change!
so i swallow it along with all the care i have. the newness has me trembling with anticipation. [goosebumps run up and down my arms at the thought of it all.]
life is delivering bucketloads of unending possibilities right to the doorstep of my heart.