certainly

you’re on the tip of every thought that passes through my mind. there are so many things i need you to know, right now. they may seem unimportant, but really, they mean everything. they’ll tell you how i dream about the world, what moves me to tears, what makes me giggle, how i love. they’ll be the difference between knowing me and knowing who i am.

they are what strings our lives together, whether you realise that or not. our thread is long and winding, and we’re yet to trace the paths because we’re unsure what colour shines brightest along our spectrum of love and light. so walk with me, hold my hand in yours. let’s love in all this chaos. let’s love in all this mess. let’s love and let’s talk and let’s walk hand in hand into all the things we never saw coming, into all the things that’ll make us want to love and talk and walk and hold each other in each other and never fight the feeling, and never fear the fall. it’s not the height that scares me after all.

‘how strange it is to be anything at all’ – alice in wonderland

i am not my weight, i am not my age, i am not my height. nor am i the colour of my skin or eyes or hair. i am not woman not female, lady or girl. i am not the poor decisions i’ve made in the past, or the things i once chose to prioritise. i am not the little money i’ve had, or the money i’ve spent. i am not my drunken nights, not my excuses or my reasons, not the things i say, not the things i should have said.

i am not my mistakes.

i am not the same as you.

i am not,
and never will be,
what you expect me to be.

i am me.

i am flawed.

i am human.