how

  
how did i find you in all of this? how you and how me and how did we come to meet and be so energetically, magically, uncontrollably in love? and with all the time and all the places we could have ever been. then, as much as it’s how, i know without a doubt, it was always going to be you and me. 

when soon comes

 it’s not just me missing you
it’s that you’re just so very missing
from all the mundane, ordinary, easy things. from all the hard and heartbreaking and overwhelming moments. from the fun. from the normalcy, from the new and old
from everything else.

there’s too much absence and space and time between us.

i miss you ’cause you’re missing when i’d much rather we were loving and touching and kissing instead.

i miss you, in every way there is.

and all the absence and space, the time the waiting can be replaced for all i care, with everything you, with everything us.

i’m holding out for so soon – so soon isn’t nearly soon enough.

22 sleeps

this is my wildest adventure yet, the one that’s come to life the best.
in all the time spent wandering this earth we’ve always shared, i’ve never known a greater journey
than this, travelling the veins of your love.
it’s all i want,
to be your breath,
to be the beating of your heart,
to find more of me in you
than i ever knew
there ever was.
life in all its magic and wonder
and you,
you in all of you,
just as you are.

togetherness 

  
we took a drive and spent some time in the woods and off the grid. so many magical things happen when we’re in nature together…

falling deeper and deeper. 

colonial creek, washington.

four days in one

 in the absolute knick of time, we made it onto the ferry to that island [where we feel heartbeats down streets and see love upon leaves falling from their trees]. i stood, a little sunburnt, in the unforgiving wind who made goosebumps on my skin, and walked around the deck, watching as the 9pm sun turned the sky lilac orange and cream, as far as i could see all the way to shadowing mountain peaks.

this weekend made me miss home, but feel home, and realise just how much everything in me is taking me by surprise lately. i never knew i could feel so much in a single minute. 

we were well and truly into fresh and clean air. i looked up. the night sky took my breath away and feebleness took over my sense of being alive and here and able and me. i’d forgotten how beautiful she was with no city lights to blind her.

the milky way lit our way as we walked to the beach and onto silky sands. we laid, side-by-side, wrapped in a blanket, and stared out across the eerily illuminated water. a green blinking light and a hub of orange so so far from us the only lights other than satellites and starlight. we watched them move or blink.

this night, i saw the most shooting stars i’ve ever seen, and one especially long and bright and deeply carved into the sky, one that put tears in my eyes and made me see how right this all, everything, is.

this night was all a part of the whole of it. this weekend was cramps in my stomach from laughing so hard. it was showering under a hose and his smile and playing like kids shooting hoops and getting dusty. it was dancing on the grass to no music at all and jumping into his arms in pure all-consuming bliss.

this was about me falling deeper in love. in a way i never saw coming like it did and it does, on wonderful days and ordinary days and days i don’t expect, as i spend time watching and observing and noticing every small and important detail of the way he moves and looks and is. and i’m building ladders and bridges and mountains of love to him for him because of him. and i’m learning everyday.