it’s stilling. the swarm is settling to a swill of emotion and feeling that began to pour out around me. sending shivers and effortless memories away from now and into the past. so gently they fell there, and fall there, and make their mark there. so gently they leave me and come back to me and feel me watching them. so gently they are and just are.
the orange and brown and red leaves fall off the trees and float through the autumn air. all with a purpose. how do they know? and the sun, it now sets to the right of where it used to fall to sleep behind the horizon. lower and cooler and darker it’s becoming. that one star stays there though. each night it appears and each morning it fades.
i think i keep my heart in the sky.
the moon and the clouds, sunsets and rainbows, rain, sunshine, the freshest air and the dewiest dawn. the stars. their constellations. the shapes that dance in stillness.
don’t tell me what you don’t mean with all your soul. what’s the use in that? what’s the point in a life with no meaning? so don’t tell me things you don’t mean with all your soul.
want it and mean it and wish it more than anything. i’ll listen if you say it like you should.
bring me to life in your autumn once more.
adelaide comes alive during the fringe festival. we stumbled upon a lane way with a long stretch of bar and a band at the back. a jazz band called lucky seven that sent a buzz through my body. the swinging beat of the saxophones and rhythm of the double bass. jazz bands and makeshift bars. the city is alive.
the perfect night. a perfect sunset. something amazing happened when they sky warmed to the evening haze. it’s new, exciting, full of everything i know. of all that’s meant to be. glenelg beach: adelaide, south australia.
kings of leon. adelaide entertainment centre. it was all about the music. nothing fancy, no theatrics. they just played and sang. and they and sounded bloody brilliant.
adelaide oval. the perfect day.
i haven’t stopped in a while. i want to. for some time now, i’ve either been doing, planning, organising or discussing my life. and now, i’m coasting. coasting would be okay with me today if i was on the back of that tandem bicycle again, riding freely down the main street near my house in maui with tiana instructing: “pedal, pedal, pedal. aaaand coast” with lupe fiasco’s voice setting the day’s playlist in my head: kick push kick push kick push kick push and coast.
it’s a shame, island living doesn’t translate to adelaide. don’t get me wrong, i’m not looking for that anymore. no matter how much i yearn to be back there when i watch hawaii five-0 and remember that time and place. it wasn’t just maui either. it was who i was then. what i had to think about. the frame of mind i was in. the things awaiting my return. all those things seem to be lost. and it all surfaces when i see the scenery. and i remember. it’s physical, the feeling. it’s something i could do without.
the flow has changed. it feels like i’m drowning in rapids, in slow motion, drifting towards a waterfall. a big one. all i need is a raft, a paddle and a map so i can steer myself in the right direction. it’s overwhelming. i’m so lost. and i’m tired of talking about it. it will happen or it won’t. or it will happen soon or it will happen not so soon. for now, i’ll try my best to just stop thinking.