in one whole day, i won’t be dreaming anymore.
today was two kinds of day.
it was beautiful and it was agonising. it was inspiring. it was nostalgia, wrapped in a sweater of friendship and love. it was a tremendous amount of anxiety, of preparation… preparing for heartache. my body steadying for the blow.
it will be tough.
my eyelids were wet with tears. a coldness, made from salt and all my fears. time is gaining on me. in thirteen sleeps i’ll be up, up and away.
change makes me sad. change makes me happy. change makes me.
everyday is sunday for me now. everyday is doing what i love. i wonder why it took so long to figure out that this is how i should be living. this is me saying yes to my heart.
they say, ‘follow your dreams, this year will be the best, make the most of 2014, start doing what you love.’
and i say, ‘okay.’
i’ve never wanted anything more. so here i go, roaring into the wild.
i’ve been dreaming of san francisco since i left. and when i left, there stayed a little piece of my heart. in her streets. in the soul of her city. in the eyes of the passersby that seemed like neighbours and friends. she stole my heart. without my knowing, but with my full happiness. and now i’m coming back. just wait.
the days are getting shorter.
i’m awake a little longer.
my heart beats faster.
and my mind, it races.
around thoughts, in thoughts, out of thoughts and through thoughts. into a world of unplanned madness.
oh, i’m so close to counting hours.
life is causing this incredible swell, a ferocious movement in the universe. in every cell of my body. in everything around me. i don’t fight it, or even try. i don’t want to.
i don’t swim against the tide. i float and follow the wind to that paradise in my mind.
i’m in love with the world.
i spy, with my little eye. something beginning with l.
it’s a little bit scary and a little bit exciting. it’s hard, but it’s worth it. it’s up and it’s down and it’s everything in between. it’s love, only love. it’s precious and fragile. and anything you want it to be. it’s more than what you see, what you hold. it’s all of what you feel.
wonderful, beautiful, terrifying.
i spy, with my little eye, something beginning now.
when you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds: your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.