i live two lives.
they are winding rivers flowing parallel.
they are ravines shifting and creaking side-by-side.
they are the branches and the roots of his favourite madrona tree, with its burnt orange bark and evergreen leaves.
they are the moon and the sun. they are darkness and light
[and lightness and love].
forever moving forward i still get lost in this world.
then lost in his.
we’re lost in our love.
we become those days where the moon stays high in the sun-drenched sky. we become those evenings that remain so bright with dusk. my river follows his direction; his ravine keeps mine safe; his roots feed my branches and we both grow and move and change. time licks at our hearts and brings us ever closer to each other.
we are the link, the reason, the intertwining force. and our hearts provide the space where our duality intersects. where our two lives become the perfect, placid grace of one. where we wish on one another, know the magic as we feel it. surrender and deliver and discover and become.
we live two lives, but we live them as one.
because that’s what we are.
you’re just too far away.
the distance leaves salty stains across my heart.
and the closer it comes,
the further it feels.
it should only be happiness, with all that awaits us.
but i miss you more deeply than i ever have before.
i can still smell you on my sheets
you’re so close but so far
i feel you in my heart
i feel you in my heart.
what am i even waiting for? divinity? desperation? time? what’s the use in having this fire burning so wildly through my heart if i don’t feel it and feed it?
the air flows through easy breath through unknowing lungs. it’s all right there.
what’s the use in feeling all the beauty in being so close to something unlike me or you and this world we’re told to know.
it’s magic, i get it. and it’s swimming in my bloodstream ready to be poured in ink and words stories and prose.
slowly but surely
and fast burning
feeding the fire, walking into the light.
this is mine.
how did i find you in all of this? how you and how me and how did we come to meet and be so energetically, magically, uncontrollably in love? and with all the time and all the places we could have ever been. then, as much as it’s how, i know without a doubt, it was always going to be you and me.
just six more days to wait.
i’ll be living inside your pockets again,
in the creases of the memories,
scattered along the dream stained threads,
of our past and future,
living tucked inside the crystal brightness of our now now now.
it’s just six more days until we find our physical way back into the perfect, embodied space of love and loving. of easiness and hopefulness
together again. and all the waiting will be worth it,
as it always is.
we’ll be real-life dreaming.
changing the way we’re meant to be made, and it’ll be pulling me apart to pull us back and into one another,
double knotting the end to the start.
and so we forever go on.
there’s something so potent about the presence of your real-life flesh and blood.