i got that lump in my throat, as usual, when i left them at the gate.
[i don’t think i’ll ever get used to goodbye.]
and i very well could have cried for the very unknown
i was diving into i have dived into.
because fear has overwhelmed me, just a little. fear has filled the arteries closest to my heart. fear has begun to take over.
and so i begin my fight.
i’m in new zealand. and it’s not so far away.
but i’m tired, it’s late.
i’m anxious, unsurprisingly.
i’m alone. i’m alone.
and maybe, for the first time in a long time, i feel the solitude.
[and i miss you. perhaps more than i have in all our apartness so far.]
it was so sudden that i pressed my way onto this fated path.
so quick, i found myself at that gate and on that plane and looking at the fullness of a familiar moon.
and so very unaware, i breathed and felt and immersed myself in the air of yet another island with a new set of coordinates on this compass of my life.
i pull the anchor up and i stop steering as the current takes over. and i flow, so freely, down this river of all that i find so perfect and new.
now all i need is you.