this one’s for you

it’s a strange feeling, knowing i’m going home, possibly on an impulsive decision [choosing the day i did]. but such is life, and everything is done for one reason,
or another.

i’m excited. there’s a glimpse of forgetting how it feels to be safely tucked up in bed in a house with the people who love me most in this entire universe. but then the memory comes flooding back and nostalgia fills me with anticipation.
and anxiety.

i don’t know what will find me there, only time will tell, i guess. all i know is this adventure, this year, feels like a single day. it feels like one long day filled with elements and seasons and emotions and reasons for all the choices i seem to have made so impetuously,
and so perfectly.

i’ve lost, i’ve found, i’ve fallen, i’ve prevailed. i’ve felt, so very deeply. i’ve cried, i’ve loathed and loved and laughed until i hiccuped. i’ve seen things that have moved me in a way i never thought those things ever could. i’ve found people who reminded me of people i already knew. i’ve found people who have changed my life, or at least changed moments in my life, changed my thinking, changed the way i look at and into myself.

i’ve found people.

and, so far, that seems to be the most profound realisation of them all.

the impermanence of place. the joy and the sadness in moving, in leaving. the honouring of the journey. all these events are intensified and cemented as purposeful and necessary by the people i’ve found along the way. the memory of a voice, or a face, or a mannerism that would catch me by surprise. and the ultimate awareness that really, we’re all the same. in this big, glorious world, we are one.

thoughts?

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