i’m not feeling like i have been [which is a bad thing]. something has shifted [bad], something has changed [bad]. i miss me. but, honestly. i’m behaving like i don’t know what i want, like i’m rolling with bad timing and poor fit. it’s not me. it’s not who i know.
it rained tonight. rained on the warm asphalt. it smelt so sweet. i love that smell. it makes me think of summertime.
i know i need to sleep. i know i’ll wake in the morning with a fresh mind, clear and excited again. but i can’t tear myself away. it’s like i’m hypnotised from the methodical tapping of my fingers on the keyboard. [like that feeling when your eyes glaze over – you can still see, but only outlines of blurred shapes and glowing silhouettes]. the thing is, i want to write, but there’s something holding me back. so i can’t write and i can’t sleep. go figure.
that something that shifted is undeniably noticeable. i can feel it. in every breath.
i hope my dreams are peaceful tonight.