need not apply.

the story is i’m in limbo, but i’m not, anymore. the story was i was looking for something. and i’ve found that. and the story continues, having found, i’ve discovered. 

i’ve been to lots of places. i’ve seen lots of things. i’ve done so much. and i’m no where near content with all that. there’s so much more than all this.

i bought a book, a journal of sorts, to map out my dreams. there are one hundred and one pages to write one hundred and one goals. i’ve filled thirty five. it’s not enough. think, think, think. but still, my mind is blank.

what the hell do i want to do?  what am i expecting?

and as i sit here kicking myself, i find it. you see, that’s the beauty of the thing. i don’t have any expectations. life is throwing itself at me and like a desperate soul, i’m taking it all. nothing is too much. nothing will leave me astounded. i’m willing to accept, arms wide open, welcoming it all.

opportunities, experiences, the outrageous entirety of life.

and i’m loving it.

gone are the days of waiting for the phone calls, the offers, the interviews that never came. i’m settled, i can actually see a future, for the first time in years. i know where i’m headed. speed bumps have flattened, hurdles gone.

i’ll feel comfortable and i’ll be okay with that. i won’t up and leave. i won’t run away. there’s nothing to run from now. no reason. no want. i’ll forever yearn to see the world and it’s glory. but my life is now steady, committed, and exciting, all at once.

i’m so ready. bring on 2012.


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