for next time.

i’m thinking so much my eyes blur over. unable to see what i’m doing, i guess that i’m spelling words okay and writing what i want. shake out of it. i’m having lengthy, vivid day dreams of the next few weeks and the amazing adventure that is about to ensue.

my list of things has been ticked off. my bag is nearly packed. my ‘to dos’ written in my notebook: washing, charging, writing. not a hard list to remember…but if i don’t write it down, i know i’ll easily forget.

i said goodbyes tonight. to girls i only just started to get to know. amazing girls with brilliant stories, edgy fashion and a huge amount of love in their hippie hearts. no doubt, i’ll feel something when i leave.

today was one of those days, the ones i think only about the time and space and heat i feel, no worries, no thoughts, just unadulterated living. pure to itself, myself, i lived simply today. no overanalysing, no smelling the air, no thinking about thinking. just living and feeling free. carefree. so it was a little sad, saying goodbye, but there is something in the air, stopping me from feeling too sad or sorry.

it’s positivity. it’s knowing i am heading in an amazing direction. it’s anticipation for the future. it’s the expected exhilaration from events to come. no high hopes or wishes, but an ingrained knowledge that this will be brilliant. 

i’m on the home stretch. i’ve finished this leg. i am content with what i have done/seen/experienced/loved/hated/lived. and i am ready to get on with it. start something new. now, in a few weeks, in a couple of months. it’s all happening. i like the pace, i like the sway, i like the direction. 

loving where i’m at, where i’m going, what i’m doing, i day dream and i take a breath and i feel whole and excited and proud all at once. my little adventure, taking on a life of its own. moving me and changing me and enticing me to fall in love with living.

i love what i feel. but, even more than that, i love what i know i’ll feel. soon enough.


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