musing

i decided to reassess. after a great conversation with a great friend, i started thinking about how the past six months have changed me, allowed me to grow and become a different person. let’s say better.

i started this blog as a way of transitioning into the next phase of my life – whatever that is, i am still unsure. and instead of creating an aura of achievement through successful job applications (apparently the next step in life after study), i have found achievement within discovering myself and appreciating my growth.

six months ago, i was lost. and while i am still without a plan, i have a clear head. no muddiness or irrational thoughts. just no next step. and what i’ve learned is to be okay with that. everything comes with time. a watched pot never boils.Β 

there are moments i remember, thoughts i recall thinking, even just two months ago. they don’t seem like me. the me i am now is more confident, prepared, filled with a desire to achieve and succeed. for no one else but me. i am okay with knowing there is no next step. and maybe it’s just that which is the next step. unaware, i discover.

you reach a certain point in your life when you progress into “adulthood”, or maturity, perhaps. two years ago something happened to me. it changed me. i can see it, physically, in photographs. what i saw in photographs then is the equivalent to what i feel now. something has changed. it is absolute and undeniable.

little things have brought me to the place i am at, internally, now. people, events, circumstances have all influenced who i have become. and i like it. i’m sure i’ll continue to change for the rest of my life, but what i have learned this year seems invaluable. i think it will be “my year that was”. growing, learning, changing, establishing.

thoughts?

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