finders keepers?

there are certain things that should never be swept under the rug in a relationship. one of those is exes.

they’re there. they happen. they need to be addressed. and in a fast and aggressive manner. they’re band-aid moments – they may leave a red mark but the pain dissipates swiftly.  

however, exes, if not dealt with in a manner appropriate to the relationship in question, can cause a great deal more pain and leave more than just a red mark. females can be horrible exes, and with the evolution of the “sensitive new age guy”, so too can males (as opposed to the fist-fighting, beer drinking men of the past who would mutter quietly and maybe throw a punch). they become different, cringe-worthy, psychopathic versions of their former selves. they show their true, primitive colours. they develop animalistic, predator vs prey responses. they are obsessive. delusional. irrational.

and what happens when one of these crazed exes decides to take the low road and attempt to steal back the man/woman lost?

when a person decides they don’t like the fact their ex is moving on, they have two options. one, appreciate the relationship for what it was, say it was great while it lasted, acknowledge the end and move on. two, stage a savage attack on the new relationship to try and win back their ex.

this isn’t a case of finders keepers anymore. primary school is long gone, as is high school for that matter. when you start reaching an age where you have responsibilities, you also need to begin to accept your life as it is. not for what it was at another point in time. if you’ve been through a break up, no matter how hard it is or was, getting back together with your ex will not resolve your underlying issues which, believe it or not, stem from within yourself. lonely? bored? if you can’t be happy by yourself, chances are you won’t be happy with someone else.

reaching into another relationship and trying to pull out a person from within it is bad enough. when you’re tampering with the new relationship of your ex, it’s even worse. bluntly, it makes you a bad person. 

you are trying to alter something much bigger than yourself. stop being selfish, take a step back, and you’ll see how psychotic you appear. if they wanted you, they’d be with you. be the bigger person and let your ex move on. and you should too.

nb: in a relationship? it is not okay to communicate with your ex. if your partner says they’re okay with it, they’re lying. you’re hurting them, perhaps more than you know. part of the problem comes from this: miscommunication – give them an inch, they’ll think you’re getting married. remove yourself from any toxic situation and the toxicity will remove itself from your life.


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